Gossip Girl: The College Years

This week the whole gang goes to Yale (apparently its become all of their dreams) set up for the future of the show? Who knows. Anyway. Serena is all miss-socialite-party-girl now (apparently, as we haven't really seen any of it, lame) and is on page 6. She was planning on going to check out Brown for the weekend (shoutout to RI), but when Blair tells her she's not that smart and probably couldn't get into Yale anyway, she decides to check it out (especially since she got a hand written invitation from the dean (who does that?)
Meanwhile, on the boring little J front, she is trying to convince her dad to homeschool her a la annoying Vanessa. Rufus is all I think you should go to school Jenny (duh) and she's like, come with me to work for a day and then after tell me what you think and I'll listen.
Back at Yale, Nate is chatting up some collegiate girl when she starts talking about how Nate Archibald is on campus and all this crap about his father (who really cares) and Nate gets freaked out and tells them all his name is Dan Humphrey. Yeah I can see this ending well. Cut to Nate and college girl making out in her room. Was it the old, let me give you a tour of a real college dorm room... I highly doubt a chick in college would hook up with a high schooler visiting, but c'est la vie. I guess Nate is pretty hot when you don't know him so well.
Blair is having her interview with the dean, and she is stumbling majorly. He asks her what there is to her besides what's in her essay and she can't come up with much. The deans like there was this lovely girl before you who was just in a fashion show for fun (true Yale material). Blair's like, I'm more traditional (i.e. boring) and the dean is not impressed. She starts blabbing about how shes not charming and friendly (like Serena) and everything is in her essay. Uh oh. As she's leaving she kisses the dean on the cheek awkwardly and runs away. Double uh oh.
Ok, also- I must comment on Serena's wardrobe choices for her interview. She is wearing a ridic low cut shirt and looks pretty slutty. The whole episode she dresses like a ho- is this part of her new "shining" personality?
Anyway Chuck is chilling on the campus when some dudes come and kidnap him. He's thrilled cause its the Yale secret society thing and he's always wanted to join. They tell him he needs to prove his loyalty, so first he hooks them up a bunch of strippers (prostitutes?), which is all well and good, but they want more. What is it they want? The one and only Nate Archibald (big man on campus eh?) Apparently the head dude's family lost their Newport home cause of Nate's evil dad (how, no idea). So to prove his loyalty to them, Chuck must get Nate and bring him to them.
Over in CC (college chick) dorm, they are still going at it when Dan knocks on the door, muttering about CC reading his writing and getting him a recommendation. Then he sees Nate in the bed and is like oh look there's Nate Archibald and CC is like um no that's Dan Humphrey, then a lightbulb goes off and the old switcheroo is clear. Durr. Nate is kicked out and is soo over Yale. He calls Chuck and they agree to meet up at some bar off campus. He tells the secret society guys the plan is in motion. But, alas! He sends them after Dan instead, since Chuck is still mad at him for trying to exploit him and write about his life for Dan's benefit. Ah teenagers.
Serena gets a call about a party at the deans house that night, and Blair is furious she didn't get one. She subsequently bribes the dean's secretary and scores an invite. The girls show up at the party, Serena in a slutty tight dress and Blair in a high collared long sleeved one. Hmm. Apparently the dean likes to play this game where he asks everyone who they would like to have dinner with, living or dead. Chuck tells Serena what Blairs answer was and tells her to use it (he's still trying to get back at her). Serena tells Blair she plans on using her answer (stupidly) and fills out her form right in front of Blair, yeah like she's not going to pick up the paper and change her answer. I guess Serena really isn't that smart. The girls try to one up each other impressing stuffy old people until the game starts. The deans picks up Serena's paper and says her person is Peter something. Blair is all, oh that's the guy she killed. Too far Blair. Blair starts yelling out things and embarrassing herself and they take it outside. They start fighting and the best moment of the show comes when Serena goes "I hate this headband!" and rips it off Blairs head. Classic. They stop fighting and decide to just ignore each other from now on. Let's see how long that lasts.
The secret society dudes all head into the bar that Nate's at, talking about how the "taught Nate A a lesson." Real Nate is all, excuse me I'm NA. Then he pushes one guy down and runs away. Oooh tough. He finds Dan in his boxers tied to some statue in the middle of campus. He is unsuccessful at untying him, until College Chick comes by and saves the day and unties him.
Next day: Serena is wearing a really unflattering tight white sweater dress and white (?) tights, whilst Blair is wearing a married-lady hat and scarf. Odd outfit choices. They tell each other they were going to tell the dean the other one deserves to get in (aww) and decide to be friends again. That was fast. Serena gets a call from the dean basically telling her she's in and can they do a press release? Clearly the school wants her for her quasi-celebrity factor. She asks about Blair and the deans all, she can wait until spring. The girls are all drippy and blah blah whats mine is yours. Um they can go to different schools, but I guess now theyre best friends they have to stick together. Ah well lets see what happens.
Nate is mad at Chuck for sending the SS dudes after Dan, since he's actually a pretty cool guy, says Nate. He decides to take the train with his new boyfriend, I mean buddy, Dan instead of the car with Chuck. Oooh boy drama, not as interesting.
Oh, and Rufus decides to let Jenny be homeschooled for a semester after seeing Lily in Serena's hoe dress. That's right. Whatever.
And there you have the gangs trip to Yale! Hooking up, secret societies, bitch fights and Dan in his boxers! Pretty successful eh?
Next week there's something Blair vs. Vanessa drama (looks promising).

Gossip Girl Season Premier: Lords, Jerks and Hos.

Gossip Girl is finally returned! We sure missed those rich bitches. A lot happened so I will try to recall it all, in order or not.

Anyway, summer is winding down and most of the gang is in the Hamptons.

We see Nate is making out with some lady in a car and apparently him and Serena were "a couple" over the summer, to cover for his affair with the married lady.

Blair comes back from Europe with a new boytoy, and kisses him in front of Chuck to make him jealous. Sitting by the pool, B and S discuss James, B's guy but it's clear B is just using him. Chuck seems pissed off, which makes no sense since he's the one that ditched Blair in the first place. Whatevs we'll see how this plays out.

Back in the city, Jenny is at her internship with Eleanor Waldorf designs, where it seems she is treated as crappy as every other intern, but she has the balls to bring her own design to work and unsuccessfully tries to get some important head lady to wear it to the white party in the Hamptons.

Dan got an job working for an author but was supposed to write an essay as his assignment. He seems to have writers block, and the reason is his unresolved feelings for Serena. He also is seen making out with some hoe right before some other chick comes up to him all giggly and like our date! Apparently Dan has turned into a major player this summer.

However, due to the writers block thing, he decides to hightail it to the Hamptons and see her. Sounds like a great idea Danny, no drama will occur there.

Blair has convinced Serena to go out with a lifeguard and while they are in his camaro (um so lame), Nate comes crashing into them in his boxers. He was getting it on with the married lady when her husband, gasp, comes homes early. Riiight, no one will see him running down the street in his undies and not be suspicious.

Blair, her bf, Chuck, Eric and Grandma VDW are having lunch in the garden and Chuck is trying to show up the boytoy, James. Things get awkward when Chuck sees the heart on James's sleeve that B gave him and runs away. Blair runs after him and they have a chat. James's is pretty cute actually. Blair rips off the heart when she gets back and says it must have gotten caught on his sleeve by accident.

OK party time! Serena, wearing what looks like a wedding dress with awesome hair, is there with Nate, who wanted to scope out married lady's husband and make her jealous. Blair is there with James and Jenny is there with Eric, who she called up for the favor. Dan shows up at Serena's house and her grandma is apparently all nice and sweet now and tells Dan to go with her to the party. He arrives just in time to see Serena and Nate making out in front of ML and her hubby. Duh. He gets all huffy about it, but 5 seconds later both of his girls confront him and pour multi-colored drinks on his suit. Serena and him have a good laugh about their respective slutiness and make up/out.

James realizes Blair was just using him to make Chuck jealous and calls her out on it. She tries to apologize and calls him boring. He responds with the best line of the night..."actually, I'm British and a lord". Blair is all heey and he tells her he liked it that she was honest and they walk off hand in hand. That was a surprise, since it totally seemed like he was going to be all, actually I'm a waiter from the bad side of town and have no money but it was quite the opposite. Good one guys.

Chuck tearfully tells Blair right before she's supposed to leave with Lordy that he got scared and that she shouldn't leave with him because he doesn't want her to. She says all he needs to do is say he loves her and she won't. He can't get the words out and she gets in the car with the cute, rich, british lord (good choice, B). Apparently the guys in this show (Chuck and Dan) think they are the victims even though they are the ones that totally were the jerks to the girls (making out with other girls, abandoning them in Europe, both).

Serena and Dan meet up on the beach and its all romantic and crap and omg yay they are back together ahh most boring couple ever.

Nate's lovah leaves him a note to meet up in the city so she can be a dirty whore there too and Jenny turns down Tinsely Mortimer's offer to help her find a new internship and decides to stick with the bitchy lady at her old one. Her dress is kind of cute, but also kind of eh.

And there you have it! No sign of Vanessa (thank god) and minimal parental scenes.

Our gang is getting into all kinds of trouble and hopefully there will be less tears and more sex coming up!